I needed to feel good about myself, so I was always looking for someone else to tell me I was okay. The problem was that I could never get enough. If someone did something to make me feel good and then later didn’t keep giving me what I needed, I would then fall apart.
It was not pretty for an adult to fall apart when they didn’t get the attention they needed from someone.
I was always examining others people’s actions or words because what they thought or felt of me was very important. If they didn’t approve of me then that meant I wasn’t okay. If they did approve it would make me happy, at least for a little while! I had very low self-worth and I needed someone or something to help me to feel good about myself, something to fill me up. I had a big empty hole inside. I kept trying to get that hole filled up with many things outside of myself.
I was frantic to do something special for God so He would approve of me, or for others so they would approve of me. Then I believed I would be okay. Of course, that was a lie I was believing.
There came a time for me when I hit the wall and I couldn’t do it any longer. Nothing was working for me! I had too much need! At this point God had me in a place where He could do some changes in me. I finally came to the end of myself and my frantic need to be something. I had to let go of trying to get what I needed and let Him do the work in me. I came to the realization that no matter what someone else said or did to me it didn’t have anything to do with who or what I was. I did not have to be approved of by someone else to be okay. My worth was not dependent in any way on someone else at all. The process of letting go of the belief that I needed the approval of someone else to be okay was a slow one to let go of, but the more I got it, the more the reality of who lived inside of me became real. The more in touch I became with His presence inside of me, the more I didn’t need anything else at all.
My reality became that I didn’t need anyone else to tell me who I was. I was whole on the inside instead of empty! I didn’t need anything from anyone to feel good about myself. I no longer lived in need! When I don’t need approval or attention to be okay, then I am free to love with His love through me. I loved out of choice and not out of need! When someone says something nice to me, I can appreciate it without making it mean something good or bad. If someone says something mean to me or about me, I don’t make it mean anything either. Neither good or bad comments from others make me who or what I am.
An action or inaction from someone else doesn’t change who I am or my reality. I can accept something from someone without it making me good or bad. It is just their opinion!
Someone else's opinion of me does not change me! If I found myself making someone’s behavior mean something either good or bad, I learned to stop and tell myself that I don’t know what they are thinking or feeling. I can’t know what it means. It doesn’t make me who or what I am. It doesn’t change my identity.
I am the daughter of the King and no matter what me and the Lord can handle it together one second at a time.
Whether someone else likes me or not does not change who I am!
Worth comes from inside. God is inside and we need Him. We get worth from knowing who we belong to. We get it from knowing how accepted we are and how loved! This is not a knowing in our heads but a knowing deep in our hearts.
A way to get it to our hearts is to stop the negative things we say to ourselves in our heads and replace it with the positive. Then we need to really ponder on the reality of how much He loves and accepts us and how much we are okay right now no matter what.
Let ourselves really feel it in our gut, in the inner secret place where He dwells with us. We need to let ourselves be open to feel Him inside and let His acceptance and love for us become real.
We can only deal with one thought or lie at a time. One at a time is the key to change. Don’t look at the big amount of problems that are needed to overcome, but just know that we can do this one at a time. Negative thoughts will come, but now we don’t have to pay attention to them. Instead, we can turn our attention to Him inside of us. He gives us our worth!
There is no better place than to abide in the moment with the Lord! He is the lover of my soul and He is the lover that makes me whole!
#whatimakethingsmean #minds #thoughts #worth#identity