I write and talk a lot about the committee in our heads-and not listening to it, and changing our self-talk, which are both extremely important, but the other day I was talking to an old friend about some struggles I was having, and she said something that caused me to ponder an important addition to my above sentence. She said, “When you keep hearing inside, “something is not right here, something is not right here,” it is a good idea to take notice and pay attention to what is going on.”
Since then, I have been thinking about this statement and I realized that it is a missing puzzle piece for me. I needed to take notice of this because I struggle with putting up with too much, and not knowing when enough is enough. I have a tendency to put up with more than I should in situations, relationships, jobs etc. I guess it is residue from the physical, emotional and mental abuse I have lived through.
ACTION
I realized that sometimes we need to take action and stand up for ourselves and that it is okay to make that choice. There are times when we need to speak up and say to ourselves, “Something is not right here!” And then take action to do something about it.
In my life I have put up with way too much, and I have been treated in ways that I shouldn’t have allowed. There was always a reason it seemed. I was afraid of rocking the boat, afraid of rejection, afraid that others would think that I wasn’t nice, afraid of ending up alone or jobless. Lots of un-fun things like that.
OUT OF BALANCE
In my past, after many years of putting up with more than I should and feeling like a powerless victim, I got tired of it and went the other direction. I became a powerful fighter. I put up walls and had my fists up and was ready for a fight. I was not going to allow anyone to mistreat me again!
FINDING BALANCE
I just went through a really hard time recently, because for me standing up for myself, is very difficult. I really had to let go of the outcome and trust the Lord to help me through. Finding the balance between being a doormat and being in fighting mode and putting up walls took prayer, connection with God and talking to Him about how He wanted me to handle the situation.
I wasn’t sure which way I should go. Do I get out, or do I state my needs and trust Him to take care of me in the situation? It was time to take a stand. I had to trust Him with the outcome no matter what that outcome would be.
CHOICES
There are going to be times we will need to deal with abusive situations or people with His strength and stay put. Sometimes we just abide in Him through these kinds of things for a purpose.
There are also times we need to pay attention when our insides keep telling us that something is not right here, and with His strength we can stand up for ourselves and not let the situation or people take advantage of us any longer.
CHOICES WITH WISDOM
Choice is very important. It is an area that is really hard for me. If I look at a situation and decide that with God’s strength I am going to endure it and walk through it with Him. That is my choice. On the other hand, if I look at a situation and decide that with God’s strength I am going to stand up for myself, express my needs, or just get out of the situation. That is also my choice.
Choice is good! He gives us choice. When we think that we have no choices, we feel like a victim. Victim is never good!
TRUTH
Truth is very important. Facing and acknowledging truth, no matter how bad the truth seems to be, helps us to get out of the victim role. Facing the truth and acknowledging what is really going on with us gives us the ability to make a choice. Truth gives us the ability to choose.
We can choose to remain and abide or we can choose to stand up and fight. We can also choose it’s time to get out. We will know full well what our choice is because we are looking at the truth. The idea is that when we face the truth of what we are doing it makes us powerful.
JESUS WAS NOT A VICTIM
Jesus chose to die for us. Jesus chose to be abused and mistreated for us. He was not a victim. He knew exactly what He was doing.
RELATIONSHIP
Of course I am not advocating staying in a physically abusive relationship because we think it might be God’s purpose. He doesn’t want us dead! The choice is safety in that situation.
I know that if we ask Him, He will show us what to do, but we need to be willing to look at the truth and get out of denial. I have proven this to be true in my life many times.
He is faithful. He is always with us and He will always help us no matter what we choose. The idea is to face truth and make our decision from truth. Look at the truth in the situation and trust Him with the outcome of your choice.
It is about relationship. He wants relationship with us. Put it all in His hands. Ask for His strength and peace. No matter what He is there with us! He lives inside of us, and He will go through it with us.
Phil 4:13 – We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!
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