One of the worst things I have done to myself is when I am struggling with a fault, weakness or full on sin, and I start to look away from Jesus instead of to Him.
Shame can quickly get the better of me and in that moment when I need to run to Him, I look away instead. It happens very quickly if I let any of a certain kind of expectation self-talk go on in my head. Such as: I should be doing better at this by now; If I was a good Christian then I wouldn’t have these sort of problems.
I need to handle these things so He will accept me or love me, I should not allow this in my life; I should do this; I shouldn’t do that; I should love more, etc.
There are many ways I can have these kinds of thoughts, and I am sure that yours might look different than mine, but this kind of thinking will get me into shame. Guess what happens if I get into shame thinking? I end up looking away from the One that I need to look to!
I need to look right at Him instead of trying to take care of my stuff by my own will. I need to tell Him I need Him to do it for me. I give it to Him in my heart and let go of it in my head.
It is so easy to let this negative shame tell me lies in my head, and it gets me so slowly, it just creeps in. I start to look away and into self-reliance to make myself better for Him.
In that moment when I catch myself start to look away, out of shame, or rebellion or whatever, that is when I need to quickly turn and look at Him.
See Him and let Him see you, and tell Him that you need Him to do it for you. Tell Him you don’t want to look away. Tell Him you want to look to Him and run to Him!
No matter what, don’t look away! Run to the one who knows you best and loves you anyway!
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