I struggled with rejection issues for most of my life and still do at times. People with rejection issues continue the cycle of rejection by creating their own rejection over and over.
They think and fear rejection before it even happens and thus do things and behave in ways to make it happen all over again. They don’t do this consciously of course, but because it feels more familiar to be rejected than loved they keep destroying the very thing that is needed so badly.
It feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable to let others love us, so rejection, even though horrible, feels more comfortable or familiar.
I know these things are true because I just described my life. When I was in this destructive cycle I had no idea how to stop being my own worst enemy.
Now that I do know, I want to help others stuck in this cycle. It was a process to get where I am now, and I know how frustrating it is to feel so helpless to help myself.
God helped me through all of this, but it was not a quick fix. It took time and even though at times I felt alone, I never was.
I was my own worst enemy, but I am not anymore. Now I hope to help others break the vicious cycle of continually messing things up just when they see their lives starting to go in the right direction.
It takes a fierce commitment to look at ourselves and face the fact that our thinking is skewed and we need to allow ourselves to think in new ways. It takes courage to stop and let ourselves feel uncomfortable but not act on it or try to do something to make the uncomfortable feelings go away. Facing ourselves is probably the hardest thing we will ever do but it is worth the fight.
I know it seems crazy that anyone would create their own rejection. When someone from the outside looks at this situation it appears that it should be an easy thing to do, but it is not easy at all! I am now so grateful for the process, but I wasn’t when I was in it.
One thing is for certain, Jesus never left me! He was always there with me walking me out. He is always with me now and for ever and for that I am truly grateful!
The best part of allowing myself to feel uncomfortable feelings inside was then I could allow myself also to feel the good ones.
The most important good feeling is His presence inside of me. I can actually feel Him inside of me now and that has changed everything for me.
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