I have had my share of emotional and mental anguish in life, but I can say that ongoing physical pain is something I have not experienced much of. I have watched people I love suffer chronic pain which is difficult, but when feeling it in my own body it is quite a different story.
For the last few months I have been experiencing ongoing pain of a high level. First it was by back and then my mouth (toothache). When those parts of the body are in constant pain, I found that reading my bible was not very enjoyable because all I could feel or think about was pain. I couldn’t feel His presence because all I could feel was pain. That was hard for me. I always knew I could handle anything that came at me, because I could feel Him inside of me.
What I realized is that even though I couldn’t feel Him, I knew He was there. Even when I didn’t know He was there, I chose to believe it and to turn my attention to Him. It was my choice, my direction, my will and not for any benefit that I could feel.
For a long time now I have been able to get out of my head and turn my attention to Jesus and immediately feel Him, but during this time of physical pain all I could feel was pain. I had to choose to believe He was still there, even when everything in my circumstances seemed otherwise.
This is a valuable lesson for me, since relating to someone with chronic pain is not something I really understood. When someone is at the mercy of doctors, or in my case a dentist, it can seem very disturbing. I had to stand my ground with this dentist, which is an area very difficult for me. It felt like a big monster was after me, but I had to stand up and not be a victim.
I asked Holy Spirit to rise up strong in me and He was faithful to me. I learned that even when I can’t feel Him at all, and it seems like the big monster is after me, He doesn’t go anywhere. He was still there with me. He doesn’t go anywhere just because I don’t feel Him there.
Even when I feel like a victim in a situation, I can stand up and ask Holy Spirit to rise up strong within me, and go forward knowing He is going into the battle with me.
He takes care of the battle anyway, I am just doing the choosing and the going forward part. He handles the outcome!
Be kind and helpful to those who experience chronic physical pain. I know that now more than ever!
Comments